the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
