You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
