Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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