when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
