Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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