I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
