Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize