She said her name was "party"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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