all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
