when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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