and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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