I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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