So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
