I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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