I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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