i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
