I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He kissed a someone with a penis
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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