is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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