We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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