I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
