Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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