You're completely useless in the revolution.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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