You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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