Your tits are I can't wait for
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
