Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize