No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
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Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
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Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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