Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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