i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
