Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
