Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm at about main and main street
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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