Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
