Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
