Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
