weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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