if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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