Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
