burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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