At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
