She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
