fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
