I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
