we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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