apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize