i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
