yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
