While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
