Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
