It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
