Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
