the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
