wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
