OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
