perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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