im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
