Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
