"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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