Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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