We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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