At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
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